Mourning not only what was but what could have been

As a pastor I seldom experience two days that are identical, its different meetings, different people, some admin-stuff that is repetitive but mostly it’s about walking with people on their journey of life.  When you work with people the unexpected happens and you experience joy and sorrow. And as much as joy is celebrated when sorrow comes, it can be tough to make sense out of it all- and I have stopped trying. I cannot make sense out of everything, and I am not sure that is my purpose.

Death & Funerals are parts of my job that I struggle with.  When death arrives I find it tough. Especially when it comes unexpected and you grieve not only the person and what has been, but also what never will be. One cannot trivialize another person’s mourning.  But the question remains- how do I as a pastor comfort those who mourn?  I find it difficult to know what is of most comfort- saying nothing or sharing memories. Im sure it varies from person to person, but I still find it challenging to know.

This summer we as a church and as a college community have lost an outstanding person who had so much potential in her. She studied theology while in her 60’s and was a legend in the Karate world- where she was the first and highest ranked woman in the world. Pauline Bindra was an amazing pioneer that had so much more to give.  I mourn not only what was, but also what could have been, how she was able to impact so many people in such a different way than a traditional congregational  pastor, yet she remained humble about her achievements, never bragged, or let on to us who don’t understand the language of the karate world how unique she was.

I am glad I’m not officiating at the funeral, but will pay my respects. As I share a video tribute made by her son I hope you too will be inspired by her life.

A tribute to her is found on

http://blog.blitzsport.com/2010/09/01/pauline-laville-bindras-funeral-date-and-tribute/